Trying to heal in High School
by Neko neko girl
Summary: She moved from destiny island to a high school were the rules are ALOT diffrent. Ayamee Furaki expresses her pain in one of the worst ways. Her roommate roxas hasnt a clue about it..yet. What happenes when roxas finds out about her cutting?
1. The First day and the First fight

Ayamee Had just moved into the school from destiny islands to the high school she didn't talk much to anyone in her old school she WOULDN'T talk to anyone. So here it was her frist day of school she came in to the class, short-short (like boy short) black hair wearing a short sleeved black hoodie with a dark blue long sleeve underneith it

-There no way she would wear a short sleeve...but we will learn about that later-

Regular Pov

"class this is Ayamee Furaki give her a NICE welcome"

the guy said eyeing the class he told me to sit next to a girl with blonde hair and a girl with reddish hair they both were chewing gum then leaned over to me

"so _this_ is the new girl. Hah! this will be fun" the girl with reddish hair said the other girl hit her

"be nice kairi, hi im namine nice to meet you" she put her hand out i just looked at it then looked at the frount of the class

"well jeez" namine said then flicked her hair back tottal preppy like

"Namine what would you expect from a _goth_"

both girls did a stupid hand shake then fluck there hairs i rolled my eyes ALREADY hateing this school. I switched to my next class and this time sat between two boys

"well well ,xemnas look who we have here, the new girl. she pretty hawt for a goth"

a guy with blonde weird hair said

"yea you can say that again, Demyx"

the one called Xemnas toucked my butt and thats when i freaked out. I turnt to him and punched him square in the face

"Touch me again smart ass and you will get more then just a broken nose!"

the whole class looked at me some wispereing things like '_wow new girls a freak' _and other things that were even worse the teacher glared at me then almost said settle down class but i grabbed my bag and left the room. I headed towards the girls bathroom and went into one of the stalls then took out a razor.

-----

I left the bathroom a while later just in time for my next class i sat between a guy with blonde spiky hair and a guy with brown spiky hair

The teacher was saying soemthing about dorm rooms and calling names out. Some blood went on to the tip of my finger and the blonde noticed it

"hey ,Ayamee, your bleeding are you ok?"

i looked down and pulled my sleeve over it brushing against the fresh cuts i winced a bit then smiled softly at him

"y-yea im fine. just caught my hand in the door coming in" i lied

he smiled back then turnt forward buying it. I sighed.

_i hafta be more careful. i cant take the risk of being sent to student councel this time!_

"ok so scince Ayamee is new and thanks to her we have an even amount of kids her and roxas will be shareing a room" the teacher said boredly not careing

a whole bunch of 'ooo's and snickers were coming from everyone i turnt a pale red while the blonde who asked about the blood didnt even flinch, i oviousely knew it was him. She gave us each a key to the rooms and sent us off to room 309. We walked down to the room opened it then he let me in first smileing

"ladys first" he grinned

i nodded and went in but kept an eye on him who knows how many pervs lurk aroudn this school. The used razor fell out of my bag on my way to put things away roxas saw it but threw it in the trash like it was nothing. He went over and laid on his bed sighing loudly like he wanted me to say something, well it worked. I looked over at him

"arent you going to un-pack?" i asked

he shook his head

"who gives a shit at the time besides we need to make sure this place is safe" he chuckled a bit "some loser left a razor here stupid emo's"

i heart stopped, or at least that's what it felt like. My shirt rubbed against my cut again it stung but i didnt move but to un-pack. After we both un-packed we headed to lunch roxas asked me to sit with him and some friends i sat down at the table with the spiky brown haird guy, a girl with brown-ish long hair, a guy with silver hair and a guy with spiky red hair

"ok everyone this is Ayamee" roxas said

"yea we know roxas we were there when she was intoduced" the brown haird guy said

"shuddup sora" roxas said sitting down

sora chuckled

"oh by the thats sora, olette, riku and axel" roxas said pointing to them

i smiled slightly "hi"

they all smiled back and i was glad i wasnt the only girl at the table or the next thing that happened would have be the worst! The Demyx and Xemnas guys from befor came up to me and put there arms around me

"hey doll" demyx said i glared at them as xemnas said the same thing roxas got up and loked at them "leave her alone"

they both laughed "what are you gonna do?" demyx said laughing while looking at xemnas then roxas yelled at him again

"leave her alone!!" roxas said

"you know the rules around here roxas that was the biggest mistake you've ever done" demyx said beating roxas with the help of xemnas and 3 other guys

the fight started except riku and axel were holding back sora. olette got kicked from trying to stop it so i got up and punched him in the face

"i told you to stop earlyer smart ass"

Thinking i had everything under control he slapped me. i was stunned

"look princess what you see is what you get around here, so cut the shit and be a good little damsel in distress and get out of here to we can finish with blondie" he said continuing to beat roxas.

I got back up and punched him again tears forming in my eyes from the hit of the ground he got up and punched me in the face then kicked me in the stomache i flew across the room and fell to the ground and coughed up blood

some people were already whispereing _"what a freak" "she will never make it that bitch" "she such a goth i hope demyx kills her" "man what dose that emo freak think shes doing?" _I couldnt stand it i ran out of the room the word _freak _going over and over in my head i ran into the bathroom pulled out a razor and slashed it against my wrist i yelped as i did it over and over again acrossed trying-to-heal cuts makeing it deeper tears strted to form in my eyes again as I cut it harder against on of them that was fresh from earlyer. some blood dripped on the floor. I exhailed sharply and started passing out. A while later i woke up to olette cleaning the cuts

"oh Ayamee, why did you do this to your self.." she was talkign to her self i winced and she looked at me

"Ayamee, why did you do this?" she cleaned another one of my cuts i hissed and winced again. then tore away from her grip running out of teh grils bathroom crashing into roxas he looked at me i pulled my sleeve down in time

"are you ok?" he said wipeing some tears away form my face

i stared up at him for a secound as his hand was left on my cheek then i tore away from is touch like i did with olette only softer

"im going to the dorm.." i ran the way back and decided to take a shower.

Olette came out of the bathroom throwing the blood stained towels in the trash. Roxas gave her a look she smiled at him

"she just hit her sholder" she lied for me

he nodded still curiouse

"well im going to go see her" he ran back to the dorm

The water hit my cuts hards and hot i winced but let it water hit it. The cuts went up to below my sholder to my wrists on each arm. i got out and dryed off put on some shorts then wrapped the towel around my figure tightly then went out side the dorm bathroom and went over to my dresser then roxas bursted through the door

"Ayamee are you o-"

**Silence...**

he turnt bright red i just turnt a little pink he didnt see my cuts thankfuly he just turnt towards the door and stayed there "um sorry"

"i-its ok" i said putting on a shirt

"are you ok there was some blood of the towels olette used to clean your sholder"

_'thank you olette..' _i thought mentaly sighing "yea my sholder..i-im fine"

I put on some jeans and threw the towel then thought of roxas's blush and turnt an even darker red

"y-you can turn around n-now r-roxas" i studdered _'what? i cant like him!!'_

he turned around his blush fadeing and laid back on his bed and put his arms behind his head (haha it rymed...sorry back to the story) we sat...or I sat and he laid there in silence for a couple minutes befor he asked

"so how was your first day?"

_'horrific...'_ or thats what i wanted to say but i could tell he knew it wasnt so good

"it was ok.." i said softly "sorry about the fight roxas"

he looked at me and smiled mixed with a grin "ah actualy i bet alot of people in the whole lunch room wanted to you what you and i did"

_' "what a freak" "she will never make it that bitch" "she such a goth i hope demyx kills her" "man what dose that emo freak think shes doing?" '_

i looked at the floor so my black hair coverd my face

"what..you mean get knocked to the ground and get you beat the crap out of..yea i bet _everyone_ wanted to do that"

he frowned at me but attempted to cheer me up

"no thats not what i mean"

he got up and sat in frount of me, took my hands and looked me in the eye

"you stood up to Xemnas and Demyx! Anyone and Everyone wanted to do that"

i was still blushing from when he took my hands but his thumb brushed up against my cut under my sleeve. I winced and he looked at me worried

"did i...say something?" he brang me a little closer i blushed a bit still winceing and slowly pulled my arms away

"um...my sholder still hurts" i smiled slightly

he smiled back but it was fake i could tell i've used it befor "well get some sleep we have school tomorrow" he got up then grabbed some cloths and went into the bathroom. I exhailed my breath not realizing i ever held it in then looked at the cut he touched it was bleeding slightly again i sighed not touching it as it stung. Roxas came out a few secounds later

"night Ayamee"

"night roxas" i said back only quieter

The next morning i woke up to the shower running i looked over at roxas's bed and it was messy and he wasnt in it i smiled to myself not knowing exactly why. a while later after i got my cloths on roxas came out with a towle aroudn his waist and a smaller one around his neak i covered my eyes and turned around.

"Heh, Ayamee, if you blush that easily to just this wait till gym class" he laughed as he got his cloths and went back into the bathroom.

_'oh great...'_

And thats were i leave you for the day w i'll update soon promis!


	2. Lieing to him

I walked into the class room with roxas. Olette gave me simpatheic eyes i looked at her as if nothing happened she sat over next to me

"Ayame, listen you cant keep doing that to yourself"

i kept my eyes to the floor

"Olette just let me do things on my own i dont need your simpathy"

I wished i hadn't said that after she got up and sat at her seat i stared at the floor for a while befor the teacher called me name

"ayamee...ayame AYAME FURAKI!!!"

i jerked up "wha?"

"i said why dont you stop stareing at riku and start paying attention!"

i blinked confused _'stareing at riku?' _I looked at were i was stareing bfor riku gave me a reasureing smile _'i dont like riku i like th hot blond- i mean roxas!!...i mean no!!'_ i sighed shakeing my head of the thought then felt something on my leg. I hadnt realized that xemnas was sitting next to me and demyx on the other side

"sorry about yesturday princess" Xemnas said rubbing my leg "i just couldnt let you get away with that"

i raised my hand "teacher, can i sit next to roxas or someone?" my sleeve slide down a bit i realized it then put it back down

"yes mrs. Furaki"

i got my stuff the slide into the seat next to Roxas and Hayner

"what was that?" Hayner asked

"Xemnas is a pervert" i mumbled then looked at Roxas who glared at Xemnas then turnt back to the head of the class. After an hour of questionsing and answering questions i raised my hand

"Can i go to the bathroom?" i asked softly and quiet

the teacher nodded i went into the bathroom and went into the same stall as befor. I rolled down my sleeve and looked at everything i had done yesturday i touchd each cut softly some hurt and some didnt i looked at my other arm it was the same. I got out a razor and did it again

_'maybe olettes right...i should stop but-' _

Something inturupted my thoughts it was the bell thankful i brang my stufff with me were ever i'd go i put the razor bakc in my back pack and left the bathroom roxas, sora and olette waited out there for me

"hi guys" i said softly they all smiled except for olette she knew what i had been doing so she gave a fake one like roxas had did the night befor

Sure it hadent been officail, that i was there friends nothing made it seem that way sora barely talked to me olette never gave me any helpful tips and roxas was my dorm-mate. I thought about _' Olette did help my cuts and was worried when she found out sora almost fought a battle for and and roxas stuck up for me and cheered me up..' _ i guess you could say they were my friends they all were talking when i had spaced out about thinking if they were my friends.

"hey..ayame!" sora said waveing his hand in frount of my face

"oh sorry sora"

he smiled at me "well i was just gonna tell you its your stop"

i smiled back at him "thanks"

roxas turned to me as olette and sora walked off "i'll be right back i hafta get soemthing from riku he borrwoed my math book so i'll see you in 5 minutes ok?"

i smiled at him "yea ok" he smiled then walked off. I went into the class room and was pushed against the wall

"hey princess how are you?" Demyx again

"get offa me" i said struggleing

he put my arms above my head and kissed my cheek "now why would i do that my pretty?"

he put his hands on my lower arms were the more healed cuts were so it didnt hurt my my sleeves went down that far. xemnas and him both noticed the cuts

"Hey! Demyx shes a cutter" Xemnas said almost laughing

Demyx stopped kissing my cheek and looked up

"oh i see" he touched one of the newer cuts and i winced

"and that ones fresh" he rubbed it a bit

"Stop it!" i growled at him

"dont worry i like the bad girls"

Roxas came in along with the teacher and the rest of the class demyx let go of me and went over to his seat i fell to the ground holding my arm. Now i know you guys dont get it she cutted herself (lol yes sometimes its changes point of veiws) so why dose it hurt as bad? she'd only been doing this scince she was 12 and now shes 17 its been a while well some dont 'heal' as good as other you could say.

roxas looked at me then at demyx and glared at him then helped me to my seat

"did he do anything to you?" roxas asked and i notice his hand rested on my sholder

"he just kissed my cheek" i said as roxas glared at Demyx

After class it didnt hurt so much i grabbed my stuff and headed for the door Xemnas put his arm in the way

"ayame my princess arent you gonna tell pretty boy here what you do to those beautiful wrists of yours" demyx said next to Xemnas

roxas looked at me conserned not sure of it was true, i glared at xemnas "move." i said sharply

"arent you gonna tell him how you express your pain in the worst way possible?" he asked again

"ayame what is he talking about?" roxas asked looked at me directly

"nothing now move demyx" i said again

"ok ok chill what ever you say ,Cutter" xemnas moved his arm and i ran out of the room heading back to me dorm it was 3 hours of study hall after all so it was ok to do so.

"wait wait ,aya, dont go so fast what is he saying?" roxas said trying to catch up to me i ran faster and ran into the dorm and tried shutting the door but roxas bursted through and all of our stuff dropped, He grabbed my by the sholders softly and sat me done on his bed

"now...aya what the hell is demyx and xemnas talking about?"

i studdered out two words of nothing befor he kissed me gently i was shocked at first but slightly gave back and he kissed a little harder (nothing M rated people so dont get your hopes up) and forced me backwards he got on top of me and kissed me a bit more harder putting my arms over my head like demyx did i flinched a bit he licked my bottom lip and i let him in not noticeing that he was doing soemthing else in the process. He kissed from my jaw line into the crook of my neak then pulled away looking at my wrists. thats when i noticed he pulled my sleeves down his eyes went wide then lowered to me

"why.." was all he said

i looked to the wall not answering he didnt move

"are you gonna tell me?" he asked

nothing i kept my eyes to the wall going over everythign that just happened, he sighed and got off of me softly

"ayame-" i interupted him "look if thats how your going to get things out of me by toying with my feelings than im not saying anything" i got up then laid on my bed a couple tears leaking out of my eyes. After that it was silent for what seemed like an hour but was only a matter of minutes. I felt the bedding form behind my sink a little and a trembling hand fall on my sholder

"Aya, im sorry I-" i turned and looked at him a couple tears falling again "i'll stop ok?" my voice sounded weak, i might have thought again on that. he made me sit up again "can i see your wrists one more time aya?" i had grown found of the nick name after two days do it didnt bother me. i slowly shook my head though ashamed of it. He kissed my softly again like he did befor then kissed a little harder forceing me back into the same position as last time. Him on top of me, my arms over my head and he slid my sleeves down again then broke the kiss. he looked at the cuts and slid my sleeves down a bit more he held both of my arms softly with one hand and traced a few cuts with his hand. I looked up at him, he looked disapointed or sad. I thought of why we got into the position and told myself i couldnt like him over and over again. he touched one of the fresher cuts and I jerked a bit he looked at me and kissed me again but i turnt my head eyes narrowing at the wall a bit he just watched me.

"is it because of your past?" he asked

"how do you know about that.."

"because olette looked into it...i heard after your mothr died your father blamed and abused you saying it was your fault she died.."

tears came to my eyes again "thats not even half of it" i mumbled more to myself but he heard it anyways

"can you tell me?" he asked softly getting off of me again

"its lunch we better go" i said grabbing my stuff and completely ignoreing the question

"right" we both left the room and headed for the cafe

im am very pleased about this story so far i liked writeing it so i hope you guys like it


	3. Sneaking out

Between me and roxas it was quiet at lunch all the way through the rest of the day and thank god it was a friday. I told roxas i would stop but i didnt, i couldnt, he knew why well half of it and he thought i did stop i couldnt tell him i did it again.

"hey aya" sora said coming up with roxas

"uh yes?" i asked

"me roxas and olette are going out to dinner you wanna come?" sora asked again smileing

i nodded "sure"

sora and roxas said bye to each other then roxas sayed there with me till the halls were empty

"what.." i asked looked away from his gaze

"aya, i didnt try and toy wih your feelings I meant everything i did" he said bringing my chin up, but i jerked and looked the opisit way

"i cant.." i said very quietly and simply

"what?" he asked not hearing what i said

"i cant like you the way i want to, roxas" i said almost to the point of crying

"why not?" he asked slightly blushing

"because if i do things will be worse for me and even more for you" i said looking at the ground as a tear slid down my cheek. He brushed it away and lifted my chin up again. i stepped back this time

"i told you roxas i cant" i said a little louder

he nodded and we both headed for sora and rikus dorm. The door was wide open and sora was throwing pillows at riku

"GET UP YOU LAZY ASS!"

me and roxas both stood there. Then riku woke up

"BUT ITS A SATURDAY DAMMIT!"

"well rawr! listen I will be waiting by my car with olette, roxas and aya so get dressed and meet us out there ok?"

"yea yea" riku said getting up

we all waited out by sora's car olette smiled at me and i smiled back then thought of roxas why _him _of all people, maybe it was because of what happened last night _'did he mean that..'_ i was brought out of my thought by riku and sora yelling at each other, i learned they were best friends well roxas sora riku and axel were ALL best friends but out of them all sora and riku fought the most.

"are you guys just gonna fight all day or are we going to eat?" olette sighed getting into roxas's car

they both laughed then got into the car

"wait!! roxas can i drize.." sora asked

"why?"

"cuz i wanna?"

"fine but if you ruint this car i swear i'll have riku kick your ass"

"yes!"

everyone looked at him funny

"i get to drive the car!" he did a little dance then got in the car riku sat in passenger. In the back it was me on the window side behind sora then roxas in the middle then olette on the other window side. I stared out the window for a while and had my hoddy sleeves stay over my hand. I felt roxas hand slid up next to mine and went to my wrists everyone was talking and didnt notice roxas was even holding up and conversation. he touched a cut from befor lunch, I bit my lip cuz it hurt. He frowned at me but i gave him a fake reasureing smile he smiled back softly but kept his hand on my wrist not touching the cut, but just kept it there.

"are we there yet" riku asked smirkeing as he anoyed sora for the billionth time

"GOD DAMMIT RIKU NO!"

everyone laughs and i forced one out scince i didnt hear the beginging of the conversation i was to busy thinking about roxas and school to worry about it anyways.

"sora are we-" sora interupted riku

"yes! were here riku"

we pulled into the drive way of AppleBee's. I got out of the car then roxas then olette. we all walked into apple bees. and to tell you the truth i was that hungrey

"how may i help you guys today" the waitress lady said eyeing roxas

"um i'll have erm...the speacil?" sora said confused riku sighed

"what he got"

"same with me, namine" roxas said the she waitress winked at him

"i want a salade please" olette said to namine

'_huh...i wonder when namine started working here'_

"a sprite.." i said looking out the window

"aya your not eating" roxas said worried

"im not to hungrey at the moment i'll be fine"

"she will have a small salade too" olette said then looked at me

"at least eat something if you take two bites of it i will let it go" she smiled at me i sighed then nodded stareing back out the window olette was sitting between sora and riku so they wouldnt start a fight in the restrant and roxas and me were sittign on the other side. a few minutes later namine came back with the food and stuff.

"here you go" she said then looked at roxas and winked again

"oh i dropped my pen" she bent over and picked it up slowly i rolled my eyes _'stupid whore..' _i sighed befor saying soemthing

"listen namine roxas is taken" i said not really careing but he was kinda creeped out at the moment.

"oh really? by who!" she said snobishly

"by..um-"

"by her who else did you think?" riku said

"yea ok sure" the namine said flicking her hair like on my first day

"want proof?" sora asked

"yes i would" she said again

roxas turnt to me and pulled my chin up and scince stupid me was spaceing out i had no idea what was happening

"roxas what are yo-" he cut me off by his own lips to mine

he kissed me a bit hard like last night and i carefuly kissed back a few minutes later we broke sora olette and namines jaws had hit the floor riku just was sipping some soda watchign there faces i turnt a bright red

"is THAT anough proof for you?" olette said

".." namine just walked away

sora and olette laughed "sorry we put you in that akwards situation"

"yea its ok.." i said still blushing

"yea its fine" roxas said like it never happened but I saw a hint of saddness in his face i sipping my soda a bit nervous

some kids from school came in "oh great the emo girl is here" one said

"wanna go some place else?" the other guy nodded and they left i stopped sipping my drink and just stared out the window. THEN Demyx and Xemnas came into the resturant. i felt roxas move a little closer to me. They stopped at our table.

"hey princess" demyx said

"go away i dont have time for you" i said sipping my soda again

"oh i just stopped by to make sure you told pretty boy about those wrists of yours." I growled at him riku and sora didnt know about it yet

"Have you, cuz i mean of course all of your friends would like to know about your self discrimination (i think thats the word) problem, Cutter"

sora and riku stopped what they were doing and stared at me wide eyed

"leave her alone demyx!" roxas growled at him demyx winked at me then left

AGAIN with the silence

"ayame...why did you tell-" i cut of riku

"just leave me alone" i got out of my seat and ran to the girls bathroom then locked myself in there

"Ayame!" roxas and olette yelled out roxas went to get up but olette pushed him back

"roxas let me go get her your not allowed in the girls bathroom" she ran after me

"roxas do you mind explaining whats wroung with ayamee" riku asked calmly

roxas looked down.

I sat there on the floor and just stared at it then heard olette knock on the door

"ayamee please come out!" she tried getting in but again it was locked.

I looked around teh bathroom to see if there was a window i could get out of i saw one but it had the inside lock broken and broken glass on it i put my hand through the whole some of the glass cut against my arm i winced but got the out side unlocked i opened the window and climbed out locking it back i looked back in and saw that olette got in and she was searching each stall i sighed then got a razor out of my pocket and stared at it...

"and thats all i know" roxas said finishing

sora and riku were silent

"so how did you find out about her...doing that to herself" sora asked

roxas blushed a bit "i found out my own way"

"so she said she was gonna stop right?" sora said but befor roxas couyld answer 'yes' riku interupted

"she wont"

"what?!" both roxas and sora asked

"she wont, she cant as well as olette ive looked into her past profile and found more about her past she wont stop"

I put away the blood covered razor and exhailed sharply. stareing at what i did again _'here i am..at teh same point from last time..' _ I got up and there Demyx was standing with Xemnas smirking at me

"how long were you there" i asked harshly

"long anough to see he last two slits you made" demyx smirked

(A/N i dont have anything against demyx ok guys? hes really cool, i have nothing aganst him i just ouldnt think of anyone else ')

I was pushed into the wall and he pulled my sleeves down. Now the whole thing was getting anoying he did that everytime. I sighed irritated.

"so princess how far did it get you this time?" he went to touch the cut again but i shoved him off and ran to the frount of the Apple Bee's. Roxas sora olette and riku were out side looking for me, not noticeing i still had my sleeves rolled up i ran into roxas and hugged him tightly he held onto me even tighter i felt the fresh cuts rubb against his hoddy and i winced a bit. sora and riku were looking at my arms. Roxas pulled down my sleeves softly but it still hurt from rubbing against roxas's hoody. Demyx and Xemnas laughed then walked away. It was quiet untill we got into the car after i fell asleep. Riku looked back at me i was leaning onto roxas and he was strokeing my hair while olette was cleaning my cuts.

'_ayame..what did you do to your self.._'

And thats were i leave you today w its kinda long sorry thanks for reading!!


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